Happy New Year!

On this final day of 2009, I reflect back on the last 364 days. Some days were tough full of uncertainty and pain........the day I was officially diagnosed in February, disappointment of finding out cancer had spread to 8 lymph nodes, pain & discomfort from mastectomy surgery, the weakening effects of chemo, losing my hair, a week stay in the hospital with a high fever, painful skin rash after radiation and the countless normal things I couldn't do because I was too weak or sick. Many more were days filled with hope, love and good news........the unbelievable outpouring of support from family, friends, neighbors & even strangers, the relief that cancer had not spread anywhere else in my body, competing in the Tri for the Cure a few weeks after surgery and winning 3rd in my age group, the creation of Team SOS, a surprise greeting of friends & family on my first day of chemo...wow, all the meals and gifts of support from so many people, the cards of encouragement, the endless offers to help, rowing with a team of amazing women, "Chicks with Sticks" winning the Tempe boat parade, watching my hair grow, ditching the scarfs and healing quickly so I could get back to my new normal. It's been nothing less than a roller coaster ride this year. Through this crisis, I've learned a lot about myself, my faith, my family and my friends. I'm much stronger than I thought I would be in the face of adversity. Not even cancer will kick me down. Some people might say I'm stubborn, but I like to think I'm persistent & determined to succeed. I believe this attitude and the energizing support of the people around me is responsible for my successful treatment & promising future. Thank you to everyone who has touched my life this year....there are so many of you and I am immensely grateful for your compassion and help along the way. I look ahead to 2010 with the excitement of a new start. Great things are yet to come!

I've had 2 Herceptin doses the last 2 weeks. My treatment day is Monday mornings. I'll go every Monday for a while. After a heart check in a few weeks, we might move to a mega dose once every 3 weeks. I don't mind going every Monday......it's only 30 minutes on the IV and I'm in and out of the office in about an hour. I love the dr, nurses & staff and the office is less than 10 minutes from my house. I have no side effects from Herceptin. It's an amazing drug. It is not chemotherapy or a hormone therapy. It is called a monoclonal antibody which utilizes my natural immune system to kill tumour cells. With breast cancer there may be too many copies of a cancer-causing gene called an oncogene. This oncogene is called HER2. I tested positive for this gene. Herceptin attaches to the HER2 receptors on the surface of the cells and stops it from growing and dividing. The drug has a very specific target so it doesn't have all the side effects like chemo drugs. I need 52 doses of Herceptin. So far, I've had 11. I'll have to take a little break when I have the total hysterectomy surgery. I hope to finish in October. That will be another milestone in my healing.

My family has been exploring over the holidays. We are seeking out local things we've never experienced. On Monday, we hiked Piestewa Peak (formerly Squaw Peak) with the boys.

On Tuesday, we went to the Arizona Historical Society Museum. We were surprised to find this to be a gem of a museum. Great hands on exhibits. They have a special exhibit on Sandra Day O'Connor......she's one of my heroes. Also, on Tuesday we had a picnic at Papago Park and hiked to the Hole in the Rock. For as many times as we've been to the zoo, we've never been to Papago. Crazy! Here we are at the top.

Have you ever been at the zoo and spotted the white pyramid on a hilltop? Yes, we have, too, and said many times that we need check it out. We knew it was the tomb of Arizona's first Governor, George W.P. Hunt along with several of his family members. However, I wanted to see it. Well, it finally happened.

On Wednesday, we went to the Pueblo Grande Museum by the airport. This is a site of a Hohokam Indian ruin. The boys studied Indian civilizations in school this past quarter so it was good timing for us to visit. Here we are in a pithouse replica. Get out and explore our great state! There's so much to see and do in our own backyard.

Happy New Year! I wish you the courage to make choices that energize your spirit. Live BIG and Healthy!

Thanks for reading my blog. With much love and gratitude, srb

Outlier

Today I went for a bike ride. When I ride, my mind tends to wander down tangent paths that are typically suppressed by the business of everyday life. For an hour today, my mind was free & flowing. I was thinking about my cancer experience & the staging of my disease. Some doctors would say I was stage 2b or even 3 and that my chance of recurrence is pretty high. After I was first diagnosed, many people would ask me what was my stage. I tried not to get caught up in the numbers and statistics. Maybe it's a form of denial, but I like to think it's because I believe in outliers. I don't want my fate to be determined by statistics. This sounds a bit ironic coming from an engineer who thrives on data.....graphing her kids' growth & swim times in Excel. If you've taken a statistics class, you'll recall that within a set of data, an outlier is a data point that is much different from the rest of the values. "Outlier" is a scientific term to describe things or phenomena that lie outside a normal experience. I feel like an outlier in many ways. My life is not defined by mainstream society so why should my disease? Everyone is unique in their experiences & circumstances, thus producing different outcomes. I strive to be different & prove the cancer statistics wrong. I have a fair amount of experience proving myself as a female engineering student & in a male dominated engineering company. I am an outlier who surprises the doctors and, at times, myself. I am special......and this belief grows hope for a bright future.

Today my kids played in their annual holiday piano recital. It was my daughter's first recital. She was very excited.....more about which dress she should wear.

Tomorrow I get my first dose of Herceptin since September. Should be fine. Then I see my radiation oncologist in the afternoon.

Have a great week! Love, srb

Appt with Onc

Yesterday I met with my oncologist. I haven't seen her since October because I've been working out the issues with my heart. Now that we've determined my heart is fine, I can get back on Herceptin. She was ready for me to get a dose yesterday, but my schedule was tight. Instead, we agreed to start on Monday, December 21. Mondays will work better for me in January & beyond so I wanted to be intentional about which day of the week I start. It's important because I'll need to get the transfusion on the same day of the week. I need a total of 52 treatments and I've only had 9. I still have a ways to go. If I stay on-track, I will finish Herceptin in early October 2010. Initially, I will start with the 30 minute transfusion time every week. After about 6 weeks of this treatment, we'll check my heart with a stress echo test. If my heart is holding strong, then we'll move to the triple dose of Herceptin with a 90 minute transfusion time once every 3 weeks. We agreed to use the stress echo test as the measurement to assess my heart's health instead of the MUGAscan. I requested this because the MUGAscan requires an injection of a radioactive dye. I would much rather walk on a treadmill with electrodes on my chest than have more chemicals injected into my body. Call me crazy!!

My surgery date is set for Thursday, February 4th at some ridiculous time in the AM. I will have tubes, ovaries & uterus taken out. It will require an overnight in the hospital.

About 4 weeks after my surgery, my oncologists wants to do my first baseline PET scan to check for any cancer activity. This will happen in early March.

So, Monday morning I'll get a dose of Herceptin and in the afternoon I see my radiation oncologist for a follow-up. I expect both appts to be uneventful.

Have a wonderful weekend! Starting your day with a grateful heart will make all the difference.
Live BIG!! Love ya, srb

Chicks with Sticks WIN!!

Part of our crew team entered the APS Fantasy of Lights Boat Parade on Tempe Town Lake that was held last Saturday night. It's the only day motorized boats are allowed on the lake. We were given clearance to decorate the rowing barge so we set to the planning. The theme this year was centered around the 10th birthday of the opening of the lake. So we wanted a birthday theme. Not only did we have a blast decorating and rowing around the lake waving to the huge crowds along the shores, but we were victorious!! There were only 4 prizes given out....Best of Show, Best Motorized, Best Human-Powered and Kids Choice. We won best Human-powered.....$200. It didn't quite cover our decoration costs, but we didn't care because the thrill of winning felt pretty darn good!!! Wow! It was a magical night!

Below you can see our amazing team just after we finished decorating, just before we launched and as we rowed around the lake. For the entry name, we called ourselves "Chicks with Sticks".

Heart OK!

On Tuesday, I did a stress echo test at my cardiologists office. It's basically an ultrasound study of the heart that evaluates the heart's size, how strongly it pumps and how well the valves are working. The ultrasound is done prior to exercise, at an elevated heart rate after walking on an inclined treadmill and then again after my heart rate has slowed down. I had 10 electrodes stuck to my chest during the test. It was a walk in the park for me. However, based on my observations of other patients in the waiting room, I'm certain many people find the test challenging. They even asked Mark to leave the room for the test in case I experienced a medical emergency they didn't want him to be in the way. Crazy! But I have to remind myself of the "typical" patients they see. I certainly don't fit that mold, nor do I want to.

Anyway......my heart is NORMAL!! Yeah! Over one more hurdle!! The doctor gave me results immediately. She sees no reason for me to begin Herceptin again. It's unclear if the MUGAscan was giving a false picture of the health of my heart or if time has healed it. My last MUGA was on October 15. It's been almost 2 months. In any event, I'm cleared to get back on Herceptin. I see my oncologist next Wednesday and we'll set a date to begin again.

On Thursday, I saw my dermatologist. I see her twice per year for full body scans to check moles, freckles, etc. She thought my radiated skin is healing nice, but I need to focus on getting the dead skin cells off to avoid any serious radiation dermatitis symptoms. I need to soak the area so it naturally falls off. It does not hurt or bother me in any way.

On the rowing front, we got in a 4 this week. It was a very different feel from an 8, but so fun. I rowed stroke in the white hat in front of our cox. Still trekking up the steep learning curve.

Last night was the annual Christmas party for my moms group from church. In the fall of 2005, I went through an 8 week journey with 12 women called Ministry of Mothers Sharing (MOMS). It was focused on learning to share, personal & spiritual growth and affirming the gifts in each other. After the 8 week session, we continued to meet once per month. We read various types of books & discuss. For various reasons our group is down to 6 women. It's a special group of women grounded in a common faith and bonded by motherhood. They are dear to me. Last night our husbands joined us and we all brought our wedding albums. What a hoot!!! One mom was home sick last night....missed you HK!

Have a great weekend! Love, srb

Fiesta Bowl 5K

Brrrrrrr! Yes, it gets freezing cold in Arizona. It was 39 degrees according to our car temp gauge this morning when we arrived to the Fiesta Bowl 5K around 7am. Earlier we woke to pouring rain around 5am.......it was so tempting to stay in our warm bed. But we did not. The joy of running with 800+ other people was more compelling than our flannel sheets (at least that's what Mark was telling me!) I was glad I braved the elements. It was energizing to be out there with friends on a fun course. Mark & I finished well and plan to do this one again next year.

Make it a great week!! Eat healthy & live BIG! It's a choice! Love ya, srb

Thanksgiving Weekend

Happy December!! Hope your holiday is off to a peaceful start. Above is a 3 generation photo from Thanksgiving Day......my mom, me & my daughter.

Last Sunday, November 29, Mark & I celebrated our 13th anniversary. We looked at our wedding photo album with the kids. It's funny to view it through their eyes.

Thanksgiving weekend we took a little trip to southern Arizona. Arizona is amazingly diverse in its landscape & natural beauty. We are blessed with so much and the southeast corner is no exception. We hiked the Echo Loop in Chiricahua National Monument. Gorgeous rock formations! Do you know the difference between a National Park & a National Monument? A Park is designated by congress and a monument by a presidential order. In 1924, President Calvin Coolidge designated the Chiricahua Mountains a national monument. Thank you, Calvin!

From the Chiricahuas, we drove southwest to the artsy town of Bisbee once rich in copper and now rich in history. We toured the Queen Mine. Very fun for all ages....except those who might be claustrophobic. Our kids loved it. It's a consistent 47 degrees in the mine....brrr! After the mine we drove north to Benson to tour Kartchner Caverns where it's always 68 degrees and 99% humidity. Amazing what dripping water can create over millions of years....wow!

On the medical front......this past Tuesday, I saw a gynocologist oncologist to discuss my ovaries. No surprise to hear him recommend removing my tubes & ovaries. Since I am BRAC2 positive, my risk of ovarian cancer significantly increases. Ovarian cancer is a silent killer because it is so hard to detect & difficult to treat. There is no medical reason to remove my uterus. It's up to me. I've decided to have all three taken out. I will have surgery the end of January or first week of February......after I hike the Grand Canyon. The surgery is done using a Da Vinci robot which is minimally invasive allowing recovery to be pretty easy. I worry less about the surgery and more about life after with respect to hormone management. Everyone is different so I'll have to wait and see what my body does. I hope to manage it naturally.....the focus of my current research efforts.

On Tuesday, December 8th I will have my stress echo test on my heart. Hope to get some answers then. Later, srb