Happy New Year!

On this final day of 2009, I reflect back on the last 364 days. Some days were tough full of uncertainty and pain........the day I was officially diagnosed in February, disappointment of finding out cancer had spread to 8 lymph nodes, pain & discomfort from mastectomy surgery, the weakening effects of chemo, losing my hair, a week stay in the hospital with a high fever, painful skin rash after radiation and the countless normal things I couldn't do because I was too weak or sick. Many more were days filled with hope, love and good news........the unbelievable outpouring of support from family, friends, neighbors & even strangers, the relief that cancer had not spread anywhere else in my body, competing in the Tri for the Cure a few weeks after surgery and winning 3rd in my age group, the creation of Team SOS, a surprise greeting of friends & family on my first day of chemo...wow, all the meals and gifts of support from so many people, the cards of encouragement, the endless offers to help, rowing with a team of amazing women, "Chicks with Sticks" winning the Tempe boat parade, watching my hair grow, ditching the scarfs and healing quickly so I could get back to my new normal. It's been nothing less than a roller coaster ride this year. Through this crisis, I've learned a lot about myself, my faith, my family and my friends. I'm much stronger than I thought I would be in the face of adversity. Not even cancer will kick me down. Some people might say I'm stubborn, but I like to think I'm persistent & determined to succeed. I believe this attitude and the energizing support of the people around me is responsible for my successful treatment & promising future. Thank you to everyone who has touched my life this year....there are so many of you and I am immensely grateful for your compassion and help along the way. I look ahead to 2010 with the excitement of a new start. Great things are yet to come!

I've had 2 Herceptin doses the last 2 weeks. My treatment day is Monday mornings. I'll go every Monday for a while. After a heart check in a few weeks, we might move to a mega dose once every 3 weeks. I don't mind going every Monday......it's only 30 minutes on the IV and I'm in and out of the office in about an hour. I love the dr, nurses & staff and the office is less than 10 minutes from my house. I have no side effects from Herceptin. It's an amazing drug. It is not chemotherapy or a hormone therapy. It is called a monoclonal antibody which utilizes my natural immune system to kill tumour cells. With breast cancer there may be too many copies of a cancer-causing gene called an oncogene. This oncogene is called HER2. I tested positive for this gene. Herceptin attaches to the HER2 receptors on the surface of the cells and stops it from growing and dividing. The drug has a very specific target so it doesn't have all the side effects like chemo drugs. I need 52 doses of Herceptin. So far, I've had 11. I'll have to take a little break when I have the total hysterectomy surgery. I hope to finish in October. That will be another milestone in my healing.

My family has been exploring over the holidays. We are seeking out local things we've never experienced. On Monday, we hiked Piestewa Peak (formerly Squaw Peak) with the boys.

On Tuesday, we went to the Arizona Historical Society Museum. We were surprised to find this to be a gem of a museum. Great hands on exhibits. They have a special exhibit on Sandra Day O'Connor......she's one of my heroes. Also, on Tuesday we had a picnic at Papago Park and hiked to the Hole in the Rock. For as many times as we've been to the zoo, we've never been to Papago. Crazy! Here we are at the top.

Have you ever been at the zoo and spotted the white pyramid on a hilltop? Yes, we have, too, and said many times that we need check it out. We knew it was the tomb of Arizona's first Governor, George W.P. Hunt along with several of his family members. However, I wanted to see it. Well, it finally happened.

On Wednesday, we went to the Pueblo Grande Museum by the airport. This is a site of a Hohokam Indian ruin. The boys studied Indian civilizations in school this past quarter so it was good timing for us to visit. Here we are in a pithouse replica. Get out and explore our great state! There's so much to see and do in our own backyard.

Happy New Year! I wish you the courage to make choices that energize your spirit. Live BIG and Healthy!

Thanks for reading my blog. With much love and gratitude, srb

Outlier

Today I went for a bike ride. When I ride, my mind tends to wander down tangent paths that are typically suppressed by the business of everyday life. For an hour today, my mind was free & flowing. I was thinking about my cancer experience & the staging of my disease. Some doctors would say I was stage 2b or even 3 and that my chance of recurrence is pretty high. After I was first diagnosed, many people would ask me what was my stage. I tried not to get caught up in the numbers and statistics. Maybe it's a form of denial, but I like to think it's because I believe in outliers. I don't want my fate to be determined by statistics. This sounds a bit ironic coming from an engineer who thrives on data.....graphing her kids' growth & swim times in Excel. If you've taken a statistics class, you'll recall that within a set of data, an outlier is a data point that is much different from the rest of the values. "Outlier" is a scientific term to describe things or phenomena that lie outside a normal experience. I feel like an outlier in many ways. My life is not defined by mainstream society so why should my disease? Everyone is unique in their experiences & circumstances, thus producing different outcomes. I strive to be different & prove the cancer statistics wrong. I have a fair amount of experience proving myself as a female engineering student & in a male dominated engineering company. I am an outlier who surprises the doctors and, at times, myself. I am special......and this belief grows hope for a bright future.

Today my kids played in their annual holiday piano recital. It was my daughter's first recital. She was very excited.....more about which dress she should wear.

Tomorrow I get my first dose of Herceptin since September. Should be fine. Then I see my radiation oncologist in the afternoon.

Have a great week! Love, srb

Appt with Onc

Yesterday I met with my oncologist. I haven't seen her since October because I've been working out the issues with my heart. Now that we've determined my heart is fine, I can get back on Herceptin. She was ready for me to get a dose yesterday, but my schedule was tight. Instead, we agreed to start on Monday, December 21. Mondays will work better for me in January & beyond so I wanted to be intentional about which day of the week I start. It's important because I'll need to get the transfusion on the same day of the week. I need a total of 52 treatments and I've only had 9. I still have a ways to go. If I stay on-track, I will finish Herceptin in early October 2010. Initially, I will start with the 30 minute transfusion time every week. After about 6 weeks of this treatment, we'll check my heart with a stress echo test. If my heart is holding strong, then we'll move to the triple dose of Herceptin with a 90 minute transfusion time once every 3 weeks. We agreed to use the stress echo test as the measurement to assess my heart's health instead of the MUGAscan. I requested this because the MUGAscan requires an injection of a radioactive dye. I would much rather walk on a treadmill with electrodes on my chest than have more chemicals injected into my body. Call me crazy!!

My surgery date is set for Thursday, February 4th at some ridiculous time in the AM. I will have tubes, ovaries & uterus taken out. It will require an overnight in the hospital.

About 4 weeks after my surgery, my oncologists wants to do my first baseline PET scan to check for any cancer activity. This will happen in early March.

So, Monday morning I'll get a dose of Herceptin and in the afternoon I see my radiation oncologist for a follow-up. I expect both appts to be uneventful.

Have a wonderful weekend! Starting your day with a grateful heart will make all the difference.
Live BIG!! Love ya, srb

Chicks with Sticks WIN!!

Part of our crew team entered the APS Fantasy of Lights Boat Parade on Tempe Town Lake that was held last Saturday night. It's the only day motorized boats are allowed on the lake. We were given clearance to decorate the rowing barge so we set to the planning. The theme this year was centered around the 10th birthday of the opening of the lake. So we wanted a birthday theme. Not only did we have a blast decorating and rowing around the lake waving to the huge crowds along the shores, but we were victorious!! There were only 4 prizes given out....Best of Show, Best Motorized, Best Human-Powered and Kids Choice. We won best Human-powered.....$200. It didn't quite cover our decoration costs, but we didn't care because the thrill of winning felt pretty darn good!!! Wow! It was a magical night!

Below you can see our amazing team just after we finished decorating, just before we launched and as we rowed around the lake. For the entry name, we called ourselves "Chicks with Sticks".

Heart OK!

On Tuesday, I did a stress echo test at my cardiologists office. It's basically an ultrasound study of the heart that evaluates the heart's size, how strongly it pumps and how well the valves are working. The ultrasound is done prior to exercise, at an elevated heart rate after walking on an inclined treadmill and then again after my heart rate has slowed down. I had 10 electrodes stuck to my chest during the test. It was a walk in the park for me. However, based on my observations of other patients in the waiting room, I'm certain many people find the test challenging. They even asked Mark to leave the room for the test in case I experienced a medical emergency they didn't want him to be in the way. Crazy! But I have to remind myself of the "typical" patients they see. I certainly don't fit that mold, nor do I want to.

Anyway......my heart is NORMAL!! Yeah! Over one more hurdle!! The doctor gave me results immediately. She sees no reason for me to begin Herceptin again. It's unclear if the MUGAscan was giving a false picture of the health of my heart or if time has healed it. My last MUGA was on October 15. It's been almost 2 months. In any event, I'm cleared to get back on Herceptin. I see my oncologist next Wednesday and we'll set a date to begin again.

On Thursday, I saw my dermatologist. I see her twice per year for full body scans to check moles, freckles, etc. She thought my radiated skin is healing nice, but I need to focus on getting the dead skin cells off to avoid any serious radiation dermatitis symptoms. I need to soak the area so it naturally falls off. It does not hurt or bother me in any way.

On the rowing front, we got in a 4 this week. It was a very different feel from an 8, but so fun. I rowed stroke in the white hat in front of our cox. Still trekking up the steep learning curve.

Last night was the annual Christmas party for my moms group from church. In the fall of 2005, I went through an 8 week journey with 12 women called Ministry of Mothers Sharing (MOMS). It was focused on learning to share, personal & spiritual growth and affirming the gifts in each other. After the 8 week session, we continued to meet once per month. We read various types of books & discuss. For various reasons our group is down to 6 women. It's a special group of women grounded in a common faith and bonded by motherhood. They are dear to me. Last night our husbands joined us and we all brought our wedding albums. What a hoot!!! One mom was home sick last night....missed you HK!

Have a great weekend! Love, srb

Fiesta Bowl 5K

Brrrrrrr! Yes, it gets freezing cold in Arizona. It was 39 degrees according to our car temp gauge this morning when we arrived to the Fiesta Bowl 5K around 7am. Earlier we woke to pouring rain around 5am.......it was so tempting to stay in our warm bed. But we did not. The joy of running with 800+ other people was more compelling than our flannel sheets (at least that's what Mark was telling me!) I was glad I braved the elements. It was energizing to be out there with friends on a fun course. Mark & I finished well and plan to do this one again next year.

Make it a great week!! Eat healthy & live BIG! It's a choice! Love ya, srb

Thanksgiving Weekend

Happy December!! Hope your holiday is off to a peaceful start. Above is a 3 generation photo from Thanksgiving Day......my mom, me & my daughter.

Last Sunday, November 29, Mark & I celebrated our 13th anniversary. We looked at our wedding photo album with the kids. It's funny to view it through their eyes.

Thanksgiving weekend we took a little trip to southern Arizona. Arizona is amazingly diverse in its landscape & natural beauty. We are blessed with so much and the southeast corner is no exception. We hiked the Echo Loop in Chiricahua National Monument. Gorgeous rock formations! Do you know the difference between a National Park & a National Monument? A Park is designated by congress and a monument by a presidential order. In 1924, President Calvin Coolidge designated the Chiricahua Mountains a national monument. Thank you, Calvin!

From the Chiricahuas, we drove southwest to the artsy town of Bisbee once rich in copper and now rich in history. We toured the Queen Mine. Very fun for all ages....except those who might be claustrophobic. Our kids loved it. It's a consistent 47 degrees in the mine....brrr! After the mine we drove north to Benson to tour Kartchner Caverns where it's always 68 degrees and 99% humidity. Amazing what dripping water can create over millions of years....wow!

On the medical front......this past Tuesday, I saw a gynocologist oncologist to discuss my ovaries. No surprise to hear him recommend removing my tubes & ovaries. Since I am BRAC2 positive, my risk of ovarian cancer significantly increases. Ovarian cancer is a silent killer because it is so hard to detect & difficult to treat. There is no medical reason to remove my uterus. It's up to me. I've decided to have all three taken out. I will have surgery the end of January or first week of February......after I hike the Grand Canyon. The surgery is done using a Da Vinci robot which is minimally invasive allowing recovery to be pretty easy. I worry less about the surgery and more about life after with respect to hormone management. Everyone is different so I'll have to wait and see what my body does. I hope to manage it naturally.....the focus of my current research efforts.

On Tuesday, December 8th I will have my stress echo test on my heart. Hope to get some answers then. Later, srb

Happy Thanksgiving!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! GOBBLE, GOBBLE!!

Last week, I was helping in my daughter's kindergarten class. They were paper maching. What fun! I was inspired to do it at home with my kids. So, that's exactly what we did on Sunday. We paper mached over balloons. Two of them turned into turkeys and the other into an oversized Christmas ornament. Fun times!

Thanksgiving
For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food,
For love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

Run

Last Saturday, Mark & the kids ran the DrumStix Dash with many classmates from their school. The kids ran 1.5 miles and Mark did 5K. Luke came in 3rd, Peter 4th and Lois had a strong finish, too. All 3 will run again on January 16 for the PF Chang's Kids Rock.

We value and are committed to an active lifestyle. But for me it's even more important than ever. It's all about oxygen. In 1931, scientist Otto Warburg won a Nobel Prize for the connection he made between oxygen and cancer. He determined that cancer cells are anaerobic, which means they thrive in an oxygen-depleted environment. Thus, they cannot live in an oxygen rich environment. Exercise floods the body with oxygen & rids it of toxins via the lymphatic system. The blood gets circulated by our heart. However, the lymphatic system depends on exercise for circulation. If exercise does not happen, our tissues drown in their own acidic waste products. YUCK! And you wonder why so many people are sick and obese!! It's pretty simple.....exercise & eat healthy. Just as I'm crazy about exercise, I'm also a crazy label reader. Again it's back to oxygen and pH. A body that is too acidic provides a wonderful host for cancer cells to grow. An alkaline (above 7 on pH scale) environment floods our bodies with oxygen. A diet high in oxygen is needed to choke out cancer cells. The best way to do this is with a vegetarian diet that includes mostly raw foods. Every week I get closer to that ideal diet, but it's certainly not easy. I've been successful at eliminating the "white stuff".....white sugar, white flour & white salt. White table salt is bleached, refined, highly cooked and stripped of minerals. Try Redmond Real Salt and you'll never go back to Morton. I use Agave Nectar to sweeten my baking. It does not spike my blood sugar level like other sweeteners. Give it a try. Cancer loves sugar, so I don't. I use various types of flours....wheat, spelt and oat. I do love bread & dark, bitter chocolate. Those are hard to give up. I'll get there.....my motivation is huge. Happy Healthy Eating!!! Love, srb

In the Shells

Our crew made it to the shells! What a different experience from the barge. Balance, balance, balance is key. Proper posture, look ahead not at your oar and 100% focus on your job. There is no time for day dreaming or multi-tasking. You have to be completely focused & present in the moment. This is hard for many of us who are typically doing 10 things at once. I like the challenge it brings and the escape from everyday life. It's like a mini-retreat on the lake.

We are in an "Eight or 8+". It's a sweep shell with 8 sweep rowers holding one oar plus a coxswain at the stern of the shell that tells us what to do and steers the shell. This shell is approximately 60+ ft long and 2 ft wide. It weighs over 200+ lbs and cost over $40k. It's quite a piece of equipment. This rowing adventure has been one of the highlights of my year. Our crew will continue rowing in January with the hopes of competing in the Desert Sprints Regatta on March 6, 2010. Can't wait!

Last week I returned to my cardiologist's office to get a heart rate monitor on for 24hrs. I did not receive results. When I go back on Dec 8 for the echo stress test I will meet with the doctor and get results from both tests immediately. At that point, I'll have some answers on what my next steps are to get back on Herceptin.

On December 1, I meet with a GYN oncologist for a consult regarding my ovaries.

I must say I'm feeling great. My chest skin is healing and the pain & itch has subsided. It's peeling like a nasty sunburn, but at least it no longer hurts.

That's all for now. Later, srb

Iron Girl

It's so energizing to compete again! WhaHoo!! I raced the Iron Girl 5K this morning at Tempe Town Lake. I met my goal of under 30min. Yeah! And my burned skin wasn't a problem. Couldn't ask for anything more! It was a chilly morning that turned into a beautiful day. What a fun race at a nice venue. Aflac puts on a super event. They even pay entrance fees for cancer survivors plus I got a tech hat & stainless steel water bottle. Very cool! The best part was experiencing the event with friends and being inspired by all the athletes. This race will be a must do for next year!

Make it a great week!! Lots of love, srb

Done with radiation!

It's over! Thank goodness this chapter of radiation is over and I can move on. The drive was tiring and a daily drain on my time. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. The pain of the 33 treatments is setting in. My skin is raw & peeling in areas. It hurts. I hope the healing goes quickly because I just don't have time for this.....I have races to run, boats to row, canyons to hike and children to play with.

I saw a cardiologist on Friday. She wants to do a stress echo test to get a clear assess of my heart. It's scheduled for December 8. Wish it was sooner, but that's how it goes. She also wants me to wear a hear rate monitor for 24hrs to see what my heart does over the course of a typical day. So, until we have results of these tests and a plan, I won't start back on Herceptin. Part of me is disappointed this processes isn't moving faster, but another part of me welcomes the delay and a break from dr appts....especially during the busy holidays.

I debuted my new look this week. At my MOMS monthly meeting on Wednesday night, everyone agreed I no longer needed to cover my head. My hair is growing fast. I was beginning to feel I was ready for this step, but needed the encouragement to go for it. Thanks to the kind and supportive words of the fabulous women in my MOMS group, I am no longer wearing scarves. It feels incredibly liberating. I love it!!! My hair is so soft. If you feel the need to reach out and touch it....go for it! I don't mind.

Rowing continues to be the highlight of my weeks. We hope to get out of the barge and into the shells this coming week. Can't wait! After Thursday's rowing lesson, most of us went to lunch to celebrate my last day of radiation & a friend's birthday. Little did I know that there was a surprise baked into the lunch date. Several dear friends have been working on a DVD of photos from the Tri for the Cure last April. I was surprised with a showing of the DVD & other friends joined us for lunch, too. It was a magical afternoon.........superb food, comfortable weather, love of friends, tears of joy and delicious desserts. It was a wonderful celebration. Thank you to all who made it possible.

Tomorrow I run a 5K at the Iron Girl race. I'll be slow & steady.....and praying the burn on my chest isn't too painful. It's suppose to be 44 degrees at 8am when the race kicks off. Brrrr! I'm so whimpy compared to all my relatives in Minnesota & Ohio who are probably laughing at me right now! Ha! More tomorrow. Love, srb

Week 6 done....3 days to go!

My 6th week of radiation is behind me and the good news is I only have 3 more days of radiation! Hooray! We will have lots to celebrate this week......Mark's big b-day on Monday, Veteran's Day & last radiation on Wednesday and finally a dr appt-free day on Thursday! On Friday I see the cardiologist. On Sunday, I run the IronGirl 5k. Hope to see some of you out there. Rowing was the highlight of my week! Love it!

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will."
---Mahatma Gandhi

I have the WILL to not only survive, but to THRIVE.....thanks to the support of friends & family and the grace of God.

Make it a great week! It's a choice. Sending my love, srb

Week 4 & 5 done!

Happy November! Today is All Saints Day in my faith when we celebrate all saints known & unknown. Saints serve as good role models & mentors in our daily lives. I especially like to reflect on those "everyday saints" in my own life.....those friends who have given so much of their time & talents to help me heal over the last 7 months and those friends who inspire me to be my best. And also those friends who don't judge me, don't engage in gossip, are honest in all they do, listen with their hearts, have an undying positive attitude and a strong faith. These people are saints in my book. Who are the saints in your own life?

14 years ago today, Mark asked me to marry him. It's been a wonderful journey. I can't imagine sharing my life with anyone else. He's amazing! And a Half Ironman!! Last weekend he completed his first Half Ironman triathlon. We are so proud of him.

Rowing is going well. So much to learn & practice, but yet, so much fun! And what a great group of women. I love the time with them on the water. Only 8 more radiation treatments. Hooray! It's dragging on, but I'm almost there. My skin is doing well....pinkish red, but no blisters or pain.

My hair is growing like crazy! Everywhere! Not too much longer and I'll ditch the scarves. It's a funny brownish gray. I hear it will change colors as it grows out. I've never colored my hair and don't really plan to start now. We'll see what happens.

Hope you all had a marvelous Halloween. Here is my crew! Have a great week! Love, srb

Week 3 Done!

Last Friday, I completed week 3. Moving right along. This afternoon will be treatment #19. Sorry I haven't been more prompt in posting to my blog....it's been a hectic week. I will be done on Nov11 assuming they can radiate my scar line and armpit in one shot. This is for the "boost" which is a special treatment for the last 5 days. They give an extra boost of radiation to the scar line & lymph area because those are the likely spots of recurrence. So, if they can't fit the necessary areas into their field of radiation, I'll have to do serial treatments. Bottom line....I'll have to go an extra 5 days. This would push me to Nov18. Not a big deal, but the driving is sure getting old and tiring.

My skin is looking good. The dr & techs have commented on how well my skin is taking the beating. Using lots of aloe & cream.

On Monday, I went to my oncologist. The previous week I had blood drawn & a MUGA scan to check my heart. My labs look good and she is not concerned about me getting sick. I'm so thankful for this timing of my counts rebounding. That's the good news. The disappointing news is that my MUGA scan was marginally better, but for all intensive purposes flat. She's not worried about me, but the test results do not make sense. Especially since I have no symptoms that would indicate there is a problem with my heart. She spoke to a cardiologist about me over the weekend and wants me to see her. There are more comprehensive tests that can give us a better picture of the health of my heart. Unfortunately, I don't see her until Nov 13. We need my heart to be in a healthy range to continue herceptin. I feel great so I'm not really worried. I'll keep you posted on my visit with the cardiologist. Yet another dr enters my life!

The kids have been sick......maybe H1N1....who knows! They bounced back incredibly fast compared to other friends. So far, Mark & I have dodged the bullet. Please pray Mark can stay healthy another few days. He is doing his first Half Ironman on Sunday......1.2 Mile Swim, 56 Mile Bike, 13.1 Mile Run. He's trained so hard for many months. We will be out there to cheer him on.

I started training.....very slowly.....for the Iron Girl 5k. It's almost painful to go for short periods and slow pace. I know it will pay off in the long run (ha!) to be patient & disciplined. The race is Nov15. I'm so excited to have that goal.

I started another exciting adventure this week with a fantastic group of women. 13 of us are learning to row on Tempe Town Lake. It's been an interest of mine for many years and I'm so thankful it's come together at this point in my life. On Tuesday, we met at a pool to do the "Float Test" to prove we can swim and watch a safety video. We get on the lake next Tuesday. There will be many photos to follow. Here's our group.

Have you ever tried sunflower butter? Tasted it for the first time this week. It's amazing! Yum! You've got to try it. Head on down to your local Trader Joe's. We've gotten away from peanut butter and moved to some healthy alternatives....mostly Raw Almond butter. Thank goodness my kids like to try new things without much complaining. Oh, and another new treat in our house is chocolate almond milk. Wow!!!! Try something new today!

Here's a quote from Henry Ford that I like......"If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right." We say this often in our house. Positive thinking is powerful. Prayers help a lot, too!

Love, srb

Race for the Cure

It was beautiful in Phoenix for the Race for the Cure today. Have a great week! Love, srb

Week 2 done!

Yesterday I finished my 10th radiation treatment. 23 to go! My skin is pink but not uncomfortable. Using lots of Aloe Vera & cream. This week they started using the electron beam along the center of my chest to zap cancer cells potentially lingering in my internal mammary lymph nodes. The photon beam is used for my chest wall and arm pit area.

In case you have failed to notice pink everywhere......it's officially National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Tomorrow I will walk the 5K at the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in downtown Phoenix. Take good care of yourself and get them checked! Love, srb

Week 1 done

Happy October! Happy Fall! Happy Cooler Weather! Happy St. Francis Day! Happy One Week of Radiation! There's so much to be happy about! I have completed 5 radiation treatments....only 28 to go! Other than the drive, it's been pretty easy. The drive should be better this week....my appt is not during rush hour. Thank goodness! My skin is doing well with the radiation and is a very slight pink color. I'm putting aloe vera gel on the radiated area and hope my skin will tolerate the radiation for the duration of treatments.

Below are 4 photos. The first is of the kids and their friends at a triathlon this morning. The boys competed and did well. The second photo is of my radiation machine. It's a linear accelerator made by Varian Medical Systems.....brand new cutting edge machine. The third photo is me on the table ready for a treatment. I'm on the table less than 10 minutes after being zapped in 5 different "fields". The last photo is the supplier name on the machine.....my fab engineer buddies will laugh. It's Varian Medical Equipment not Varian Semiconductor Equipment maker of ion implanters....E500, E1000. Too funny!

Ode to St. Francis on his feast day........

Prayer of St. Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace, Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Make it a terrific week!!! Love, srb

Radiation: 1 Down, 32 to Go.

I finished 1 radiation treatment this evening.....yes, evening.....5:00pm to be exact. Not my preferred time for treatment, but that's all they had available. Next week I'll go at 10:30am. The week after that & for the duration of my treatments I'll go at 1:45pm. That should work out ok. I can get treatment & then pick up the kids. The process was painless & quick. From the time I was called back to when I left was less than 20 minutes.

The first photo above was taken at Mark's triathlon on Sunday. The second photo was taken tonight at the kids' school. The boys project teams presented their research on biomes.

Back to radiation tomorrow. Have a great week! Love, srb

Taking a Break

Today I saw my oncologist. She's so great! I just love her! I was suppose to have Herceptin treatment today; however, my MUGA scan results were lower than normal. This is not unusual and it's not a sign of cardiac toxicity. My heart is pumping a little sluggish because of the residual affect of the chemo drugs. My dr is confident that with a little time off of Herceptin my heart function will rebound to normal. I know many of you worry about me exercising. I appreciate your concern, but my dr confirmed that I can keep doing what I'm doing. Exercise will not improve or worsen my heart function. Exercise is good for my overall health and is extremely important to my healing. I'm in tune with my body and will heed any warning signs of stressing it.

Next steps.......I'm taking 3 weeks off from Herceptin. I will return to my oncologist on October 15. A few days before that I will have a MUGA scan to check my heart again. If it's within normal ranges, I will have a 30 minute Herceptin treatment. If not, I will wait a little longer. I will likely stay on weekly Herceptin treatments for a while instead of the every 3 weeks treatment. It's easier on my heart.

Tomorrow I see my radiation onc for the dry run. Monday is my first radiation treatment. It's kind of nice I'm taking a break from Herceptin during the first few weeks of radiation.....one less thing to fit in my schedule. Juggling dr appts from 8am to 2pm while the kids are in school is a challenge. But I'm always up for a challenge! :-) Bring it on!!! Love ya, srb

Normal is a good thing!

Happy first day of fall!!! Where are those cooler temperatures!?!!?

My pelvic ultrasound results were good. I have normal ovaries! Whaa Hoo! I like normal. I have an appt in late October with an OBGYN Oncologist to review my case and discuss options based on my risks. I'm guessing I'll have surgery early next year to address my increased risk of ovarian cancer.....which, by the way, is difficult to treat & success rate is significantly lower than breast cancer. My approach would be to nip it in the bud.

I had a MUGA scan on Monday. This is my 3rd one. It produces a moving image of the heart from which they gauge the health of the heart’s major pumping chamber (the left ventricle). The reason for the scan is that Herceptin can be toxic to my heart. Before I move to the once every 3 week dose of Herceptin (90 minute transfusion time), we want to make sure my heart is ready for it. Assuming my heart checks out ok, I will begin the mega dose of Herceptin on Thursday.

The office of my radiation doctor called today to set up my appt for the dry run. I do that on Friday at 11am and begin treatment on Monday, September 28. That will be the start of my 33 treatments.......November 11 will be my last one. I'll go every day Mon thru Fri. It's like an endurance sport!

I'm back on the exercise wagon. Yee Haw! I biked for the first time on Saturday. It's been 6 weeks since I rode. I began running again this week.......one slow steady mile. I have a plan to ramp back very slowly with a goal to stay injury free. It feels so good to be out there. I feel better physically and mentally......and I have more energy. Funny how that is.

Race for the Cure......I am registered for this October 11 event. I will walk the 5k with my kids. My husband will be in Florida for a conference. Check it out if you are a local. Fee increases on Thursday.
http://www.komenphoenix.org/site/c.nsKZL3PHLtF/b.3748649/k.BF88/Home.htm

IronGirl.......I am registered for this November 15 only women event. I'll do the 5k run. Really looking forward to this one. Check it out. Let me know if you're doing it.
http://www.irongirl.com/Events/Tempe.htm

Tri for the Cure.....Get it on the calendar. April 11, 2010. http://www.triforthecureaz.com/

Last Friday morning I received a special healing blessing at my church. It's a sacrament called Anointing of the Sick. It was a spiritually filled experience of God's grace. I'm so thankful for my faith and the peace it brings.

Love to you all for standing by me and keeping up with my blog. Love, srb

I'm Tattooed!

Today was busy. Phew! In the morning I had my CT for radiation. It was pretty uneventful except that I now sport three freckle sized tattooes. I have one in the center of my chest and one on each side below my armpits. This will allow them to align me in the same position each time for radiation. Now I wait for them to call me once they have my treatment plan complete. Hopefully end of next week.

My pelvic ultrasound went fine, too. I should know the results by Friday. Think good thoughts.

My week of appts is only half over. I get Herceptin on Thursday and Friday I'm getting my third MUGA scan to check my heart function. Next Thursday, I will get a triple dose of Herceptin that allows me to go once every 3 weeks. Before I get that mega dose, we need to know my heart is still strong and ready for it.

Four appts in one week makes me tired. Phew!! Love, srb

Moving On to Radiation

Last Wednesday, I met again with my radiation oncologist now that chemo is over. We discussed the next steps with my radiation treatment. The first part is to get a CT of my chest so they have a map to create my radiation plan......they have physicist on staff that help determine this with the doctors.....it's all math!!! Yeah for math!! I go tomorrow for the CT. It will take them 5-7 days to develop my plan. Once they have the plan, they'll call me back in for a "dry run" to assure the quality of the treatment. After this, I'll start the next day. I'm estimating I'll have my first radiation treatment late next week or Monday, Sept 28. Based on this, I'll finish radiation the first week of November.

The second part of moving forward is checking my ovaries. A couple months ago, I had a genetic test for BRCA1 & BRCA2 gene mutation. I wanted this information not only for my children's future, but also to determine what to do with my own ovaries. It turns out I have a mutated BRCA2 gene. This elevates my risk for ovarian cancer. I will most likely have my ovaries removed sometime next year. I will be meeting with an OBGYN Oncologist to discuss this. For now, I will get an ultrasound of my ovaries to make sure they are clean before we start radiation. This ultrasound is scheduled for tomorrow after my CT.

On Thursday, I go for a Herceptin treatment. I'll go again next week, then switch to once every 3 weeks.

On a more fun note......my hair is growing back!! Hooray! My head feels like a little baby chick. The kids love to touch it! I swear it grows more each day. My eyebrows and lashes are filling back in. I did not completely lose them, but they did thin out.

Hope you all are well. Thanks for your continued prayers and encouraging words. Please pray for healthy ovaries. Love, srb

Mission Complete!

Yesterday I completed my chemo treatment that began on May 14....almost 4 months ago. It went by so fast. This is a huge milestone for me & my journey to survivor ship. I feel like a true survivor now. I still have to complete 33 sessions of radiation and Herceptin, but those will be a walk in the park compared to what I've endured so far. I meet with my radiation oncologist next Wednesday to discuss my treatment plan. I will have to get radiation everyday Mon thru Fri for 6.5 weeks. I should be in the office for less than 1 hour each time, but I'll have a 25 minutes drive to Scottsdale each way. It won't be horrible. Only 2 hours out of my day for 6.5 weeks. Herceptin I will get every Thursday for the next 3 weeks, then we'll move the frequency to every 3 weeks for the next 10 months. So next summer I'll be done with everything and should be able to get my port taken out. Hooray!

Below are a few photos from yesterday. The first one is my Dr. She is a remarkably gentle and caring person. I feel so fortunate to have found her to help manage my recovery. The next photo is my dear friend who has done amazing things for me on this journey. She is a marvelous cook! She has spoiled my family with many meals. She is so thoughtful and sincere in all that she does. Thank you! The third photo is my mom. She's always there to help when we need her. Thanks, Mom!! The balloons in the photos were given to me by the nurses. They are so sweet! Love you all!

In 1894, under President Grover Cleveland, Congress declared the first Monday in September to be the holiday for workers celebrating the labor movement. Thanks to all the American workers who have contributed to the strength, prosperity and leadership of our great country. Happy Labor Day!! Love, srb